Daniel & Adrienne #73 - Orpheus Looked Back

“Mom!!” 

The shouts were clear as Daniel rolled over, noting it was just before midnight. 

“Don’t answer him, he’ll go back to sleep,” Adrienne warned from her side, too far away from him he couldn’t help but think. 

She must still be mad about the language joke. 

They had been down in the lab this afternoon, Adrienne drowning in files that she had been asked to take care of while Daniel dealt with the aftermath of Robert Woolsey, files she claimed she was behind in because they were in alien languages that she didn’t speak as well as he did just yet. 

He replied with she probably ran out of room in her head for new languages considering that she knew the lyrics to every rap song that had been released for that past twenty years.

Probably not the best choice of words after being gone for three days, dealing with a sudden death and coming home to this mess. 

Hence the other side of the bed. 

“Mom!!” 

“Ad, we should answer him,” Daniel whispered, walking that fine line that he had been walking all afternoon, the line that was gonna earn him bathroom duty he was sure. 

“Mom...” Nicky was shouting again, a long pause before he changed his tactic, “I don’t like these teeth!” 

“What can I do with that?” Adrienne finally answered, rolling over, rubbing her face with her hand. 

“I know that there are still fifteen minutes before I can have my next dose, but I’m above average in both height and weight so I think fifteen minutes at this point would be moot,” the child argued, Adrienne rolling her eyes. 

“Moot? That’s a Daniel word,” she grumbled, glaring at him. 

“Only because it’s comprehensible,” he replied, standing from the bed. 

“Where are you going?” she asked, sitting up, Daniel shrugging his shoulders as he made his way to the bathroom. 

“To get him some Tylenol. He has a point.” 

Adrienne just rolled back over. 

“He’s six months old Daniel, super brain or not. WE are the parents,” she countered, Nicky starting right in again. 

“Why is the pain so bad? They are just tiny little things; it makes no sense. Mom, Dad, someone? Please!”

The shouting, and now bargaining, continuing, Daniel stood at the doorway to the bathroom, crossing his arms across his chest. 

“He’s just gonna keep it up and come on Ad. We don’t remember teething, but it’s got to be painful and the poor little guy has the capacity to understand what’s going on and that there is a solution,” Daniel tried to reason, Adrienne’s head falling into her hands. 

“I’m up,” she declared before she actually was, trudging to the bathroom herself as Daniel raced ahead of her. 

“Oh hell no,” he shouted behind him, “You ignored him. I’M gonna be the hero.” 

*****

It was about eleven in the morning when Adrienne finally got through the last of the pile, her head flopping dramatically on her desk. 

“Didya finish mom?” Nicky asked from his mat on the floor, Adrienne nodding in reply. 

“Yep, thank Gawd,” she answered, rubbing her temples. 

“Good, I didn’t want to bother you but I’m pretty hungry and I need to be changed. Sorry,  I wish I could do this all myself, but, well, you know...” the child started to ramble, chewing his lip just slightly. 

So much like your father, Adrienne thought, peeking up at the small brown hair, brown eyed baby, that despite how much he did look like her, his mannerisms were clearly his dad’s.

“You’re never a bother. In fact, since ya can talk to me, well, let’s just say it’s a relief,” she replied, albeit a tired reply standing from her desk to gather up her son. 

“Hey, sorry I never thought I’d get out of that damn briefing room, did you get that pile done?” Daniel asked, Adrienne redirecting her attention to the doorway. 

“Yes master, anything else master, I await your next command,” she mocked him, their son giggling from the floor. 

“Don’t encourage her,” he told the boy, leaning over his wife’s shoulder to see that she had done just that, that she had finished the pile of documents, translating what Homer has shared with them to be sent to their allies. 

“Thank you ja-wer,” he whispered in her ear, kissing her cheek softly, making her giggle. 

“Uh, right here,” Nicky cleared his tiny throat, “don’t need to see all of that.” 

“How do you think you got here young man,” was his father’s reply as he made his way over to his desk, Adrienne shaking her head at the insanity that was her family dynamic.

“Ok, so, on the agenda for the day, now that we are caught up,” Adrienne stressed the word ‘we’ ever so slightly, trying to drive home the point that she really had caught them up, Daniel having been pulled into yet another meeting about the system status of Atlantis, “Sam wants us to redirect our attention back to the database and any interaction at all that might have occurred between the Asgard and the Alterans.” 

“Mom?” Nicky complained slightly, tugging at his pants. 

“I’ve got a few things on cloning Rodney sent down, and he wants to play with my spine some more, of course, but I really need to run,” she continued as she knelt down, picking up the baby and taking him toward the bathroom. 

“What about your lesson with the cadets? You know Teal’c doesn’t like to mix the human women with the Jaffa women without you there,” Daniel noted from his desk, Adrienne stopping at the doorway to the bathroom. 

“Shit, I forgot, let me change Nicky first,” she grumbled, slipping into the bathroom. 

“Daniel, hey, have you checked your email,” Jack was yelling across the small room, the archaeologist shaking his head. 

“I JUST got here, for the first time today, and I haven’t even eaten yet, I haven’t even sat down yet. Do you think I’ve checked my email?” he spat, more harshly than he intended, Jack pulling out Adrienne’s seat, making himself comfortable at her desk. 

He was lucky that the two of them had bonded over cheese pies. 

“Did the misses?” 

Daniel rolled his eyes. Maybe Sam checked Jack messages for him but Adrienne either didn’t care to infiltrate Daniel’s email or she didn’t have time to bother with it, but either way he knew she hadn’t. 

“If you sent it and you’re here now, how ‘bout you TELL me what it said,” Daniel offered, peering down at Jack over his glasses. 

“It said that we want your input on the new commander of Atlantis,” Jack answered coolly as he leaned back in the seat.

Surprised, Daniel looked up. 

There was actually a question? 

“John, there, you have my input, but there really shouldn’t be a discussion. John Sheppard deserves that, a promotion and more,” the archaeologist gave his honest answer but his old friend was already shaking his head, letting out a sigh. 

“He doesn’t want it,” Jack began, Daniel stopping again to stare at him quizzically, “but more than that, Sam and I have been talking and...” 

“Uncle Jack!” 

For as much as Jack seemed to cringe when Daniel first refereed to him as ‘Uncle Jack’, he sure did light up now when he saw the boy, even more at the moniker. 

“Hey buddy! Sorry, but I haven’t come to rescue you from Boringville today, lots of Boringville for myself as it is,” he was out of the chair, plodding across to Adrienne, taking the boy from her arms. 

“It’s ok,” Nicky replied, pointing over to his play area, the mat littered with two Rubix cubes, a toddler sized model of the solar system, a toy robot, and a dog-eared copy of Robinson Crusoe, “I’ve got plenty to do. Have you read that one Uncle Jack?” 

The general didn’t respond at first, rolling his eyes at the selection, still odd for a six month old child no matter how advanced the boy was. 

“A long time ago, maybe,” Jack lied, clearly remembering a high school girlfriend had done his report on that very same novel, when he felt a pull at his ear, the baby goading him forward. 

“Mom won’t let me read the puddlejumper manual,” he whispered, Adrienne not missing a beat but paying more attention to Daniel, rolling her eyes nonetheless at her son’s tattling.

“Ok sha, here’s what I’m gonna do. If you’ve got Nicky and can handle getting the database started, I’m gonna run now, then meet Teal’c, and we can work late, stay on base tonight if we need. We still have a playpen in the room?” 

Daniel shrugged. 

“I think so,” he answered, needing more coffee Adrienne could tell.

“And yet your dad still does not care about my meeting, do you see a problem with this,” Jack was addressing Nicky, the couple ignoring him completely. 

“Dad will do anything to get out of a meeting; I’m surprised he’s not sending Mom,” he replied, Adrienne shaking her head. 

“Alright, we have a plan, correct?” Adrienne clarified one last time, looking at the room of men, none of whom seemed to be caring about the bigger picture, the one in which everything that needed to be done got accomplished, today, so she could sleep in her bed and not on base.

“Yes, Ad, go, run, fight, bring peace to the galaxy and we will be here when you get back,” Daniel joked, Adrienne rolling her eyes. 

“Fine,” she grabbed her bag, racing over to kiss him quickly, “Love you,” and made her way to Nicky, “and love you,” pausing at Jack, “lata.” 

“No kiss for me?” 

“You’re not Jonas,” Daniel answered for her, a glare in return. Not a further comment, Adrienne whisked herself out of the door to the lab, shoes over her shoulder, Jack laughing but confused. 

“Jonas?” 

“I’ll explain later,” Daniel answered as he opened his desk drawer, grabbing a plastic bound book from inside, “the Langaran in question should be back any moment now.” With that, Daniel tossed the book over to the mat as Jack set Nicky back down.

“The jumper manual?” the boy asked, reaching out with glee. 

“Read fast,” Daniel instructed, peeking through the open doorway, “And don’t tell your mother.” 

*****

“Archaeology,” Daniel answered, thinking it was Adrienne calling to explain the alarm earlier. Seemed like nearly every time that she and Teal’c trained a new set of cadets that someone a little too big for their britches had to be corrected. 

And, of course, Teal’c liked to make Adrienne do the correcting.

“Daniel, it’s Carolyn, I need you to come down here,” the voice on the other end was curt, as he had come to expect from any of Carolyn’s dealings with his wife that did not have to do with the baby. 

Dammit, Daniel thought, what has she done to herself now. He really hoped it was something minor, right now, with everything, he couldn’t deal with Adrienne in a cast or some other insane contraption. 

“On a scale of one to ten - “ he started, the doctor clearing her throat loudly.

“Daniel, you need to take Nicholas to Teyla and come down here, now,” Carolyn repeated, slowly, Daniel’s heart stopping. 

“Carolyn, what’s wrong?” 

There was a pause on the other line, longer than he would have liked...

By the time Carolyn Lam knew what to say, the phone was dangling off of the edge of the desk, Nicky’s book dropped on the floor, open, the lab left unattended. 

*****

Daniel sat on the edge of the bed, rolling the shot glass in his hands, staring at nothing. 

Technically I am supposed to be carrying these...

The drawer to his nightstand sat open, two pieces of coconut inside, pieces that Daniel hadn’t been able to look at. 

Daniel, I’m sorry, but you do have to understand that among the Acadian people...

He wanted to throw something, break something, scream, but he just couldn’t...

You keep eatin’ like that Indy and I’m gonna be a damn widow...

He couldn’t breathe, he wanted to die, he just couldn’t...

Daniel, you’re in love with that woman...

Jack has been so right, but it was so much more than that, and there was just no way...

You’re so awful to me sha...

No Adrienne, he thought, you’re awful to me. 

What are you gonna do? Fire me? 

Never, he would have never, even then, because somehow he knew...

You broke your promise...

With that Daniel Jackson collapsed into the floor, unsure as to what else he could do but sob. 

*****

“We should call her family,” Cam said from the end of the table, John nodding his head in agreement but Sam simply sat there, the first time in a briefing that anyone had ever seen Jack actually acknowledge his wife physically, sitting beside her, his arm protectively around her shoulders.

“It would be best coming from Daniel,” she answered quietly. 

“He’s is no position to be making any kinds of decisions yet,” John spoke up now, Cam glad at least someone understood what needed to be done, no matter how horrible it was. 

“I’ll do it,” Cam volunteered, “I still talk to her Aunt Barbara from time to time.”

“Or I can,” Jonas finally spoke, “I’ve met her a few times too.” 

Jack didn’t reply with words, just a wave of his hand, indicating that Adrienne’s closer friend figure out amongst themselves who should call home and inform the Rowan/Verdin family of their loss. 

“Where’s Nicky?” Vala choked out, breaking Sam’s heart as she had watched Vala grow so attached to their child during his first six months and of course she would ask about him above anything else. 

“With Teyla. She knows but she’s trying to keep him busy,” Jack answered for her. 

“What did she tell him?” Evidently, that answer wasn’t acceptable, Vala leaning forward on her elbows. 

“That his mom got hurt and they’re running some tests,” Sam was able to reply with a strong swallow. 

The room was silent for a moment. 

“Sam, I’m not sure that Daniel can handle the arrangements,” Cam added, his mind doing the only thing it could do to process the nightmare, to step in, to take over and to help. 

“I’m assuming that the body will be sent to New Orleans and her family will take care of it from there,” Sam answered, taking away his power as he nodded, rubbing his temple in his hands.

Loud sucking in, before sobbing, Vala’s head dropped onto the table, Ronon reaching over to rub her back gently.

“Why, after everything why? A fuckin’ heart attack... A goddamn fuckin’ heart attack...”

“Shhhh, come here,” disregarding the onlookers, Ronon pulled Vala into his arms, holding her tightly as she sobbed, wailed, the rest of the room watching in silence, Cam himself taking a deep breath. 

“Where is he now?” Jonas sputtered, not even bothering to hide the tear streaking down his face.

“DanielJackson has locked himself in their room. I do not know the code, but I can request AnnMardsen or LieutenantHailee to recode the room if that is what we must do,” Teal’c offered, his eyes clear and dry but clearly showing what he was feeling, what they were all feeling. 

Dr. Adrienne Jackson was dead.

“Give him time. He won’t do anything drastic; he loves the boy too much,” Jack again answered for Sam, who just didn’t seem to have the words.

There was more silence, no one making eye contact, when a low cry came from the head of the table, everyone looking up to see Sam head in her arms, crying, Jack trying to comfort her.

At that point, no one else held back. 

*****

“Ja-wer, come back to bed,” Daniel grumbled, reaching out so that she would melt back into his arms like she would do, seeking his warmth. There was no answer, Daniel opening his eyes to roll over and turn on the lamp to see where she had gone. The light flickered on, his hands rushing to his face to hide his eyes, when he remembered that they were staying on base tonight and she was gonna kill him for waking up Nicky. 

But there was nothing. 

Slowly Daniel opened his eyes to see that he was fully dressed, his body wrapped around her pillow, his face sticky. 

It wasn’t a nightmare. 

He would have started to cry again, but he was out of tears, the sadness replaced with just an emptiness inside, a hole that she and she alone had filled, a hole that was gaping here and now. 

Sitting up, he wiped his face, the low electrical hum of their alarm blaring into his skull. He glanced over, noting that it was about nine in the morning, and he had cried and slept through the afternoon, the evening and for the entire night. He’d wanted to check on Nicky, he’d wanted to talk to him, even dialing Teyla’s extension but even to just hear his son’s voice was too much.

All he had of Adrienne, the love of his life, was that beautiful child, and he couldn’t even look at him. 

Surreal was probably the only way he could describe this. Never had he ever thought that he would lose her, things happened here, they always did, but never did he think it would be to something so simple, a damn heart attack. Adrienne was the fittest person he had ever met, but even he knew that some things were genetic, even if a person is only thirty two years old...

He hadn’t cried when Carolyn let him see her, her pale skin even paler as she pulled the blanket away. They had done CPR, tried everything they knew, Carolyn even injected herself with ‘Q’ to use a hand device all to no avail. 

Adrienne Margaret Rowan Jackson was dead. 

And Daniel was alone. 

He had just walked out of the infirmary, straight to the elevator and gone to their room. 

Because there was no where else to go. 

Now, he couldn’t take it, he couldn’t be here. 

He needed to be with her. 

Tossing everything else aside, Daniel didn’t even bother to shut out the lights before making his way to the morgue. 

*****

Carolyn sat in her office looking at the file, the rather large file, making the final note she had put off for days. Time of death was easy, Adrienne had been gone by the time she’d arrived at the gym, but it was the rest of the information that Carolyn just couldn’t bring herself to write. 

She couldn’t list the survivors, poor Daniel, living through the loss of a wife for the second time of his life although she had to imagine that this was so much worse now. Not only had he been with Adrienne longer but they were so very close; the two archaeologists shared something that she had never really seen between two people. Then the boy, the poor boy, facing a life as someone different anyway but without his mom to help him face it. 

She put the pen down again. 

Who would they write on her own file? It wasn’t as if she were immune to dying herself; Janet was lost on a routine mission, Carson of present not Carson of old and even Cassie had her own brush with death only months before. 

She had no one. 

They would write on her certificate of death that she was survived by her father, their relationship still strained after his retirement, her mother, but other than that every night Carolyn Lam went home alone, by choice more than anything, her heart refusing to suffer the fate of her parents. 

She saw Cam entering the room, shutting the door and locking it, her attention halfway between her own thoughts and the awareness that he had reached over and was filling out the rest of the form. He finished the last line and set the pen back onto her desk top, tapping the only place that he could not finish, where she had to sign. 

Reluctantly, she took up the ballpoint, scratching a sad version of her name, pushing the paper away when there were lips on her own. 

She let him kiss her as she cried. 

*****

He heard water running when he coded himself into her room, knowing he should have thought she’d take a hot shower. Vala had this thing with water that he didn’t quite understand, but it always seemed to make her feel better so we went with it. Not wishing to disturb her, Ronon kicked off his shoes, taking a seat on her bed and cuing up the TV, flipping through the channel’s listlessly as he waited. 

Minutes passed and the water still ran, Ronon growing more and more worried. He knew her well enough to know that she liked her space to think but now was not the time. 

Cautiously, he opened the door to the bathroom, walking right over to the shower and pulling back to curtain to find her sitting on the floor of the stall, naked, her head between her knees as the water beat down her back. He reached out to shut it off, feeling it had gone ice cold, but she hadn’t moved a muscle. There was a towel hanging nearby, the Satedean grabbing it and wrapping it around her shoulders, crawling into the tub behind her. 

“I want to go get Nicky,” she whispered, Ronon drying her hair and rubbing her dry, trying desperately to warm her frigid skin. 

“Alright,” he answered softly, scanning the room for her clothes. 

“I know I need to be calm before I see him, so I got in here but I just can’t leave,” she started to cry again but Ronon didn’t say a word, just held her tightly, rocking her in his arms. 

“Do you want me to go get him?” he finally asked after forever silent, Vala shaking her head. 

“No, I need to do it. Addy would want me to...” she started to cry again. 

“I understand.” 

“Ronon?” she pleaded as she composed herself a second time, her companion leaning around to look her in the face. “Why do bad things happen to good people? Always?” 

He’d always wondered that himself, even more so as he watched his world torn apart, as he had watched Carson die, as he had seen so many innocent people both here and in the Pegasus disappear from existence. 

“I don’t know,” was all he could say.

“Daniel’s gonna need us. All of us,” she added, finally acknowledging his touch, leaning back into him, pulling his arms tightly around her. 

“He will,” Ronon answered, a glimmer of doubt slipping into his gut. It was a selfish thought, one that he should never had, but he let his words escape his lips before he could control himself. 

“Val, I love you.” 

“I love you too,” she answered without hesitation, “let’s just sit here a while longer.” 

*****

The Langaran paused at the door, hesitating before knocking. He had no place else to go, no one to talk to because his two best friends here were Daniel and Adrienne and there was nowhere to turn. Sure, Cam was his roommate and they were friends, but he just couldn’t talk to him either, in fact he didn’t want to talk at all. 

He got the idea from Jack, after the briefing, Teal’c excusing himself to his quarters and saying that he would be available if needed, but that he was going to fast and meditate, honoring their fallen friend. Jonas hadn’t paid much attention to it then but now that just seemed to be the thing to do. 

He knocked. 

There was silence, save for the sounds of a few staff members milling around the hallway, continuing their work, members that had heard the news but really didn’t know Addy, so other than be sad that a tragedy had occurred at work, were carrying on like normal. 

The door still didn’t open, Jonas thinking that maybe he should just go back to his quarters or go check on Homer, who seemed oddly affected by all of this...

“JonasQuinn.” 

He’d missed the door opening, Teal’c standing there in a ceremonial robe, his face emotionless. 

“Join me please,” the Jaffa offered without Jonas even needing to explain. 

Thanking him only with a deep sigh, Jonas followed the sweeping hand into the candlelit room. 

*****

“Do you remember when you made that pie? It wasn’t long after the cupcakes, but you burned it so badly and tried to pass it off as Cajun pie? It was so awful but I didn’t want to hurt your feelings, so I ate it anyway,” Daniel laughed from the tile floors at the figure lying so very still under the sheet. 

Just keep talking...

“Then there was that time when we went to Chulac, I’m not sure if I ever told you this, but it was before we were together, well, really together, you know it’s all fuzzy with that right Ad? You have to admit that we were pretty much an item from the first night I crashed at your place...” he rambled on, not noticing the footsteps in the doorway, Jack standing there just watching as he continued. 

I will never lay with her again...

“Anyway, Ishta had taken you out by the children while I had to, I bet you’ll never guess, go to a meeting, and when I came to get you, you were dancing with the orphans and I just... Ad, I didn’t get it then, I didn’t, but I think my heart knew at that very moment that you were who I needed.” 

“Daniel, you need to eat, drink, something,” Jack finally spoke, Daniel peering up, no tears, no expression, nothing, just emptiness. 

“I don’t want to leave her.” 

Unsure as to what else he could say Jack nodded, passing over the bottle of water he had brought down from the commissary which Daniel took, opening it to take a long drink, guzzling half of the bottle before setting it onto the floor. 

“Thanks.”

“No problem.” 

Breathing in, Daniel reached back over for the water bottle, needing something to roll in his restless hands, his eyes still locked on her body, her lifeless covered body. 

“Nicky’s been asking for you,” Jack tread carefully, Daniel still not looking away. 

“I can’t yet.” 

“I know, but I wanted to let you know is all.” 

“What time is it?” Daniel asked, the water making him slightly hungry he was just now realizing. 

“A little after four,” Jack answered, not knowing what else to say when Daniel leaned over between his knees, sobbing. 

“She’s really gone. There’s no coma, no nothing, it’s been over a day, she’s just gone,” he was blubbering, Jack approaching slowly, taking a seat on the floor beside him, putting his arm around his dear friend. 

“Jack why? I thought, after everything, I thought...” Daniel just cried harder and Jack let him, knowing there wasn’t much else he could do, “she was it Jack and I can’t leave because if I leave then it’s real and I have to fly with her body to the Bayou and bury her and I just can’t.” 

More sobbing, Jack half hugging him, wishing he could fix it all. 

“I know Daniel, I’m sorry,” again it was the best he could come up with as Daniel turned, not flinching away from Jack’s embrace, utter devastation on his face.

“She was more than just with me, she was more than my love, Jack, she was my best friend...” 

Cassie didn’t bother to disturb the men, Daniel completely collapsed onto Jack, as she came around the corner to say goodbye herself, wiping a tear from her eye as she slipped silently back down the hall.

*****

"Mom died, didn't she?" 

Vala almost dropped her fork as the child stared right at her with those dark eyes like his mother, his face so sweet, innocent and honest. 

"That's why Dad can't look at me. When he came down last night, he didn’t say anything and he looked like he’d been crying. And I spent the night here again and no one is talking about mom at all and whispering around me,” the small child continued so plainly, Vala biting her lip. “Auntie Vala, is Mom dead?” 

Covering her face, Vala stood from the small table, dashing for the bathroom, Ronon staying seated at the small table in an effort to be strong for the boy. 

*****

Sam sat, staring at the personnel file, her eyes going back and forth between it and the phone. She’d told Cam that if Daniel couldn’t call Adrienne’s family that it would be best if she did, especially given that this morning marked the third day since Adrienne had passed away. 

Each of her team members was dealing with their grief in their own way and she really didn’t feel the need to intrude and continuing to work, even in this capacity, gave her purpose. 

Listlessly she thumbed through the file, the background check, information on Adrienne’s education, paperwork she had filled out so many years ago for who to send her body and assets to should she die in the line of duty, paperwork that had been amended to read Daniel Jackson in place of every other name. 

It just wasn’t fair. 

Adrienne had suffered in her short life, Daniel had suffered more and what they had found with one another was perfect happiness. 

Times like this she questioned everything.

Sam diverted her eyes yet again, looking at the gate through her window, trying to will it all away as she saw Daniel step into her line of sight. 

“Have you called?” he asked, his shoulders slumped, his hands stuffed into his pockets. 

“No,” the general answered trying to read Daniel’s face, but it was so cold and emotionless.

“Good. Barbara should hear it from me. I’ll call her and get that started, then head down to the morgue. Adrienne wanted to be cremated, so I want a chance to say goodbye one last time and then let Nicky do the same.”

He was so serious, so fixed, not showing an ounce of weakness. 

He had found acceptance. 

“I think that’s a good idea,” she whispered and stood, leaving him privacy to make the call. 

*****

Daniel stood by the cold steel table working up the courage to pull back the sheet and face her because in his heart he knew this would be the last time he would ever see her beautiful face ever again. Carolyn said it was good that he had made the decision; it wasn’t good to keep her body like this so long, cold storage or not. 

And now here he was and there she lay and it was all over. 

“I called Aunt Barbara,” he started, the sheet still covering her face, his hand at the hem just unable to pull it back, “she’s coming to help, with Nicky and the first flight she could get was tomorrow morning and they are gonna have to...” 

Tears flowed again, Daniel pulling the blanket back to see Adrienne lying there, the only thing still on her body the teardrop necklace that he had bought her, glimmering red, a droplet a blood, the symbol of a life force against her lifeless pale skin. 

“Ad, why did you leave me?” he leaned forward, taking her lifeless body into his arms, streams of liquid streaming down her bare shoulders, “I should have told you sooner, I could have had you longer, Adrienne I love you and I know you’re gone but thank you, thank you for saving me. Thank you for never giving up on me, on us. And for Nicky, he’s, just, just, why, why couldn’t it be me...”

He laid her gently onto the table, gripping the side tightly as he stared at the ceiling, screaming. 

“Why not me!?! What did she ever do to deserve this!!? God damn it I want her BACK!!!!!” 

“I had wished to see you again under better circumstances.” 

Wiping his face, Daniel looked to see who was here now, who was now going to show up unannounced to tell him that they were so sorry, that they were there to help, what could they do for him because he was finished with that, he just wanted everyone to shut the hell up when he saw the glow, that calming glow making him take a breath and still his heart.

“Oma,” was all he could say at first, removing his glasses and pinching his nose, making sure that he was seeing what he was seeing and that this wasn’t just a hallucination from dehydration and lack of food, “how, why, what are you doing here?”

“I have been trying to come to your aide, as have we all, but there are always those who do not agree, however, the very same have decided that we can look away no longer, in some matters,” she answered in her way, the one in which Daniel had to decode the meaning, although this time fortunately not as much since his mind could not process anything else other than the end of his perfect life and blissful future. 

“This was not supposed to come to pass,” she continued, hovering her palms over Adrienne’s bare chest, a look of sadness on her timeless face, “It has always been her, was always to be her. Some things are stronger than our existence in this plane.” 

“Oma, it was a heart attack, not Anubis. We haven’t heard anything out of Anubis since he conquered Galar,” Daniel argued, an anger rising inside of him that again there was nothing that could be done. Frowning, Oma ran her hands across Adrienne’s chest again, cocking her head in curiosity. 

“Yes you have but you fail to see what is in front of you. Kasuf warned you of such dangers,” she countered as she looked up, Daniel already shaking in rage. 

“You mean, this is Anubis?,” Daniel stammered, his eyes wide, “He killed her?!?” 

“Indirectly, but the paths all lead to the same outcome. One, however, cannot undo what was meant to be,” she replied, extending her hand to take Daniel’s, contact without contact, how was she touching him, his world going black... 

“Daniel, come on, our flight leaves in three hours, we’ve been in this heat long enough,” Sarah whined as she stood from the table, pushing the cloth aside. He had to agree that it was a muggy mess here in New Orleans, a different sort of wet heat that he just wasn’t used to. 

“No, I’m coming, but I’m missing, dammit, have you seen my notes on Ptolemic Cults of Egypt?”  Shaking her head, she rolled her eyes, laughing at him. 

“No, you’re so disorganized sometimes.” 

Daniel frowned, shuffling his papers again and trying to refrain from beating his head against the table. 

“They must have fallen under the here,” he said as he lifted the table cover, scanning with his eyes in a hope to avoid crawling around on the floor. 

“Well look there and pack up, I’m headed back to the room,” she replied, her heels clicking on the stage as she left. Grumbling, of course he couldn’t see anything immediately at his feet, Daniel pushed his hair behind his ear, getting down on his knees to search. 

“Excuse me sir.” 

Great, I’ve now been caught crawling under the table like an idiot...

“I was wondering if you had a moment, I know that you’re very busy but I was hoping someone could talk to my daughter,” the man asked. Pulling back from the table, struggling as his hair and the tablecloth fell back into his eyes, Daniel examined the man puzzled. It was a public lecture, true, but as far as he could tell the majority of the audience had been students here at Tulane University. This man, however, had to be in his forties, not that that was too old to be a student, and in, at least Daniel’s opinion, too young to have a college aged daughter. 

Maybe not, he thought, we are in the South...

“Is she a student here?” Daniel couldn’t resist to ask the curious question he himself unable to imagine having a child at his age, not that twenty five was young, but...

“Not exactly, well, not yet anyway. She’s ten.” 

“Oh,” that explained it; ten was a tad more reasonable when it hit him that he had just been a part of a ninety minute panel on the Translation of Advanced Hieroglyphics and their Roots in the Cults of Neighboring Societies that this ten year old had sat through. 

“She wants to be an archaeologist, more than anything, and let’s just say that around these parts that’s not a very girly thing to do,” the man offered explanation without Daniel even asking. 

He couldn’t help but smile; it sounded so much like him, to be the odd duck... 

“Would you speak with her, just for a minute?”

Pausing, Daniel looked at his watch. Sarah hadn’t been kidding; they were on a tight schedule if they wanted to make their flight to New York, the next stop on the tour, but this kid was not only an odd duck but had sat through this entire presentation. 

He couldn’t help it, or explain it for that matter, but he was compelled to...

“Sure.”

Forgetting the papers, Daniel sat back on his heels as the orange polo shirt the man was wearing disappeared into the crowd, only to reappear what could have been just mere seconds later, an average sized ten year old girl being pushing in front of him. She wore jeans and an Indiana Jones T-shirt, both items faded with age. Her eyes were focused on the ground, her father urging her forward, the girl fighting silently. 

“Hi there, what’s your name?” Daniel scooted forward onto the stage, sitting on the edge trying to look into her eyes. She had the darkest eyes he had ever seen, beautiful even, eyes that still refused to look at him. 

“Ok, well my name is Da-”

“I can’t believe that you’re still here, this is why I didn’t head upstairs. We have to leave...”

Daniel didn’t need to look to know that Sarah was just off stage, glaring at him. 

“Just give me a sec,” he requested without taking his eyes off of the girl, or the top of her head at least, long dark hair parted down the middle and still covering her face.

“So, your dad tells me that you want to be an archaeologist,” Daniel led, hoping she would talk, do anything and she did finally, she nodded slowly.

Not a word. 

“It’s a hard job, traveling all over the world, never staying in one place, getting hot and dirty and you have to write really long boring papers. It’s not like Indiana Jones,” he joked, reaching his finger forward to point at her shirt, making her laugh and look up, a small smile across her face. 

“I like getting dirty,” she answered, Daniel happy to finally get a response. 

“Well, that’s good. Egypt is pretty dusty,” he joked, earning another giggle. 

There was a tap on his shoulder, Daniel expecting Sarah but it wasn’t; it was one of their undergraduate assistants, looking pretty hurried himself. 

“Dr. Jordan asked me to get you...” he started, Daniel shaking his hand dismissively. 

“Tell him I’m coming,” and he was but he didn’t have much time he knew; he just couldn’t leave just yet...

“Listen, I know it may seem hard now, sometimes impossible, but never give up, on what you believe in and on what you want to do. Do it and do it better than anyone else, promise me?”

He didn’t know where that speech had come from, it was across his lips before he could even think about what to say but she was smiling, young eyes understanding...

“I promise,” she whispered. Daniel started to ask for her name again, now that she was talking, reaching in his pockets for a card, something, maybe she could write him a letter, tell him what she was up to, that might make things easier...

“Sir is this yours?” the same undergrad student was still there, the missing notes in hand, Sarah’s voice again echoing from the hallway.

I need more time...

“I’m sorry, but I’ve got to. It was nice to meet you and don’t forget what I said...” 

And then she was gone, his focus back on his girlfriend waiting in the wings...

“You must see what is in front of you,” Oma whispered, pulling her hand from his, “it was always meant to be her.” 

Frozen, Daniel’s mouth agape, his tear-filled eyes gazed back down at Adrienne, at his wife, at the person who had become his entire world in complete and total shock.

“That was Adrienne...” his voice was barely a whisper as he brought his eyes back to Oma’s, shaking his head in disbelief,  “I’d forgotten that, it was so long ago, you meet so many people on those tours, sometimes kids, but that was her?”

“Yes Daniel and she never gave up, as you made her promise. She never gave up on herself, on her father, and she never gave up on you.” 

“But she’s gone Oma, she’s gone,” Daniel didn’t care anymore, letting the tears flow freely as the Ancient smiled softly, her hands again over Adrienne’s cold body.

“No, again you have not seen. Everything happens for a reason Daniel, everything...”

“I don’t understand,” he whispered, wiping his face with the back of his hand. 

She was still looking down at Adrienne, examining, her hands moving as her head cocked back and forth, the small smile growing across her face.

“She found your book, by chance at a shop, she had not been looking for it, it was not something she would have normally reviewed for her superiors and she bought it, taking it home to read to her father because he loved Egypt...”

Daniel frowned, still confused, still wondering...

He had never asked her...

“It pleased him greatly; allowed him to imagine a world he only dreamed existed, but it broke her heart because if what you were saying was true then there beings that were that powerful enough to help her father, to help people like her father, to save him. That was what made her write the review of your book,” Oma said with a smile, laughing lightly, “Did you ever read the others?”

“No...” and he hadn’t; he’d meant to on so many occasions but he had just assumed that the website was all the same, that each and every blog entry was another rip into a fellow archaeologist in an effort to, as he had thought then, look cool to her students. 

“Yours was the only one she wrote in that fashion, so scathing and critical. Only yours because if you were correct, someone had power to change everything in her life, everything in the world, and they had just abandoned us. You were not allowed to look to the stars if she had given up on them...”

Daniel took a breath, his mind racing, running the review’s words through his head, she had mentioned being abandoned...

“It was so very cruel, which is how Vala found it,” she paused, waiting for a reply. 

“It had to be Vala,” Daniel whispered, his heart pounding. 

“Yes, it did, because she knows you, better than you care to admit but her purpose was not what either of you originally believed, which is why time was reset...” 

“She felt something, she knew...” his voice was soft, his vision blurred...

“Daniel, Adrienne read you from the very start, knew what you needed the exact moment you needed it and once you allowed yourself to see, you were able to do the same.”

She was my happiness, my one true love and she’s gone...

Leave and let me die...

On the edges of total despair Daniel would have expected Oma to do something other than ramble on about what had past about what had been lost, but she did just that, continuing to talk. 

“What you could not know Daniel, what you could not see, is that it is just not possible to undo what is supposed to be. The trinium in her spine, it should have killed her, but it did not. It did not for so long because of her people, but then it did not because of you. It is still there though, I can feel it and it is keeping her mind alive,” she explained, Daniel shaking his head.

Don’t say alive, it’s a cruel joke to play...

“Oma, she’s been dead for three days,” the words crossed his lips for the first time, that she was dead, not just gone, but dead...

Oma, on the other hand, was shaking her head. 

“No, she hasn’t.” 

Tears streaking down Daniel’s face, he looked away, refusing to hear her; if Adrienne hadn’t been dead, if Carolyn had been wrong, if there had been a chance to save her, it was too much, he couldn’t stand it, he just wanted Oma to stop talking, to go away, let him grieve in peace...

“She is a descendent of the protected peoples, her heart failing, it is not what it seems. It is beyond what your medicine knows and a portion of the database that you may never decipher,” Oma explained with a smile, Daniel taking a breath. 

“What do you mean? She’s in a coma?”

It couldn’t be, she didn’t mean...

“No, she would have been in stasis for a time, to study, as the Asgard would have intended, but there are no Asgard here to repair her, no Asgard to solve the problem. Therefore she died,” her words were so plain but plain had never been Oma’s way, why was she doing this now...

“But you said...”

“She died only hours ago, but there is a part of her that just did not, the part you gave her and her body is repairing itself slowly...”

Hesitating in her own words, Oma reached to touch Adrienne’s chest softly, her eyes locked on pale skin.

“In fact, it has finished her heart. It would halt the process, your doctors have stalled the healing already with medication, it is slow, not everything would be mended,” Daniel now saw where her hand was hovering, over her pelvis, over her womb, “but we can awaken her now if you would like.”

It has to be a dream, he thought, I’m gonna wake up and she’ll still be here, and I’ll be alone, Daniel please wake up and stop hoping...

Trying to contain himself, he looked down, was it true, could he have her, a billion questions racing through his head, but she’s dead, had been dead for too long. 

“Daniel?” 

Oma reached out her hand again, a feeling of trust surging through Daniel, one that he had felt once before, it was real and he could choose, should he let it keep going, heal her womb, take the risk, but what if Oma was wrong, what if she wouldn’t awaken, what if the process had taken too much time already?

“Wake her.”

“Are you certain?” 

Was he? Would a few more moments matter? 

“Yes,” the decision was made, “I just want her.  Nicholas needs her. I need her. Wake her up.” 

Nodding, the glow around Oma intensifying with her subtle movements, she reached out to take his hand again, Daniel realizing that in her grasp he felt nothing other than energy, no skin, no contact, just pure energy. She didn’t speak, placing his hand over Adrienne’s heart, her own on top of his, inside of him, warmth surging through the both of them. 

And then there was a heartbeat. 

Daniel wanted to reached down, hold her to him, kiss her, feel her skin, her warmth, reaching to do just that when Oma pulled her hand back, gazing into his eyes.

“Do not disturb her. What we have done is what was supposed to happen here and here alone. Let her rest because you must prepare,” she paused, backing away, “Anubis is coming.” 

“How did he do it?” Daniel was asking now, his hand still on her heart, not letting go, not pulling away for a moment. 

She’s warm and I can feel her heart beat...

“We need not explain again. You have invited him in, he did nothing he was not allowed to do...” 

In silence, Daniel pondered her words, trying to figure out how Anubis got on base, how in the world anything had gotten past the tight security when it hit him. 

“CAROLYN!!!” he screamed, his hands still on his wife, refusing to leave her until the doctor was at their side, “CAROLYN!!!!” 

****

Daniel tore through the hallways of the SGC in the direction of the commissary where Sam said he would be, a confused Sam who he knew was now headed down to the infirmary where Adrienne lay unconscious. 

Unconscious, and alive. 

Daniel ran faster. 

This time it was he who knocked past personnel, files hitting the floor, papers in the air, not even slowing his pace as he turned the corner, powering into the mess hall. There he was, sitting with Cameron and John as if he belonged here, as if nothing had happened and without warning Daniel knocked him onto the floor, his hand at his throat. 

“WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER!!” Daniel was screaming in the Langaran’s face, hands at his shoulders, maybe Cam, maybe John, he wasn’t sure, he didn’t care, no one was gonna pry his hands from Homer’s neck. 

“DAMMIT TELL ME WHAT YOU DID TO HER!!!” he raged, color leaving the assailed’s face and more gripping at his shoulders, shouting behind him, this time he was being pulled away as he repeated his words, demanding he speak. 

“DanielJackson, let go,” Teal’c was the guilty party, taking him away, pulling him back, Daniel reaching again for the man, still shrieking. 

“HE TRIED TO KILL ADRIENNE!!” 

“DanielJackson, AdrienneJackson is with Kheb now, she has left this realm,” the Jaffa tried to calm him, Daniel ripping himself free and standing, glaring at the crowd that had gathered. 

“No,” he was calmer, his eyes once again on Homer, whose hand was rubbing his throat as the pair of colonel’s helped him to his feet,  “you failed. Carolyn is examining her right now Homer, you failed. What did you do to her? What are you here to do to us?” 

“DanielJackson, we are going to have to call Dr.Lam if you do not calm down,” the warrior now warned, Daniel shaking his head as he took another step forward. 

“How’d you do it? You made it look like a heart attack and it would have worked, but it didn’t. How did you do it?”

“Adrenaline,” Homer’s voice was strained, damaged, his face in a grimace as he swallowed, “a version of Adrenaline. I put it in her water.” 

Shock rippled through the commissary, Teal’c finally letting go of Daniel’s arm. 

“Daniel, is Addy...” Cam asked, no longer thinking Daniel was crazy, members of other teams now reaching for Homer’s arms to take him into custody. 

“Yeah, she’s fine. She’s gonna be fine. Carolyn needs to know what did it in case she has to flush her system,” the archaeologist responded, Cam glancing over at the members of SG-3 who had the Langaran’s hands pinned behind his back. 

“You got him?” the colonel demanded. 

“Yes sir.” 

Nodding once, Cameron Mitchell turned around, dashing out of the commissary. 

“Why,” Daniel now asked as Teal’c had stepped forward to take the man himself into custody, “why would you? What could he possibly offer you to do such a thing?” 

Homer’s eyes went to the ground.

“My family. If I killed your wife he would release my family.” 

*****

When Adrienne awoke she was in the infirmary, yet again, the cool chill of the air conditioning making her shiver. She must have pushed herself too far, after all, she had just started running again only three months ago and maybe going more than five miles now was just too much. 

Daniel was, of course, waiting right there, lying beside her as he did when she was ill and leaping upright as she stirred. 

“Where’s Nicky?” was her first question, Daniel smiling as if he had anticipated those very words. 

“With Vala, as always. I’m starting to think she’s trying to steal him,” he joked, Adrienne laughing lightly. Sitting up, the Cajun rubbed her head, her face furrowing as she struggled for a moment, Daniel reaching to help her. 

“Gah, what did she give me? I had the strangest dream,” she explained as she shook her head, pinching the bridge of her nose, “Actually it was more like a memory from when I was a kid. I’m not sure if I ever told you,” she said, giving her temples a good push. 

“Here,” Daniel reached across the table, offering her some water which she took, drinking slowly before setting it aside. 

“When I was a kid dad took me to this talk at Tulane about deciphering and there was this young guy, some grad assistant or something and he...” she trailed, Daniel’s eyes filling with tears he knew, her mouth agape, taking a deep breath. 

“OH MY GOD,” was all she could muster as it hit her. She had never gotten the young man’s name, she didn’t even remember if he had ever told her his name but she had never forgotten his words...

... never give up, on what you believe in and on what you want to do. Do it and do it better than anyone else...

Words that had meant so much to her for so long, a promise that she had kept, only now realizing that it was Daniel all along. 

“That was my reaction too,” he whispered, taking her into his arms. 

“What happened?” she asked, a part of her knowing that something awful had indeed occurred; she could tell by the way he was holding her, by the look on his face.

“You took another step toward my record,” he whispered softly in her ear, trying to joke, the effort appreciated even if the voice itself was tainted with doubt. 

“Was that a dream? Or was that really you?” 

She just needed to hear it from him, the affirmation that somehow her life had come full circle as the person that had made such a difference without ever knowing it held her so tightly in his arms. 

He didn’t respond, reaching his hand to her cheek to make her face him, kissing her softly and slowly, probably more passionately than he should have in the infirmary.

“It was me,” his words were unhurried as he pulled back ever so slightly, his lips still brushing hers.

“I kept my promise,” she said what he already knew, kissing him again as he chuckled against her lips. 

“I know you did, and you’ve made sure that I have too,” he answered, finally pulling away, so reluctantly, his soulmate was back, his everything, but it was time, his eyes gazing at the clock, “He’s coming.” 

“How do you know?”  She didn’t need clarification as to who, his eyes said it all. 

“I just do. It’s time and I have to ask you to do something,” he was setting his feet onto the floor, pulling away from her fingers as they clung to his so gently, eyes back on the clock, Adrienne at a loss as to what he was doing. 

“What sha?” 

“I have to ask you to trust me,” he said with his mouth as his heart and his head argued in the manner that they had been for hours, knowing what he had to do but just not wanting to have to face it.

“I do, always, why?” 

Daniel stood back from the bed, light columns enveloping him. 

“Just trust me,” was the last thing Adrienne heard before Daniel disappeared into nothing.