#33.5

Daniel Jackson had learned that a person does stupid things when they are in love, very very stupid things, even if the object of one's affection was just a pipe dream.

Today was one of those times.

When he found Adrienne in the lab, face to keyboard, snoring away, that woman really could sleep anywhere, he didn't take a picture this time, instead reaching to shake her gently out of concern.

"Ad?" he asked, his assistant rubbing her face as she sat up.

"What time is it?"

"Nine," he answered softly, resisting the urge to reach out for her. He was really gonna have to get this under control, they couldn't be, why did he think they could ever be, "why are you here?"

"I came down because I couldn't sleep, I wanted to work late," she was rubbing her face again, sighing, "my gah dam schedule is so gah damn messed up, and da gah damn apartment…"

Daniel frowned. He hadn't heard anything about a problem at her apartment but maybe she hadn't wanted to bother him, she would do that sometimes. It was classic Adrienne behavior, worry about everything else but herself and let her own problems go by the wayside.

"What about the apartment?"

Adrienne looked to the floor; clearly this was something she hadn't wanted to share.

"There was a break in…"

Daniel's heart sank. If there was a break in Adrienne wouldn't be anywhere near the place, which explained why she was staying on base and even though base was secure she would be having nightmares and not sleeping which is why she would be here working.

"When did you sleep last?"

"I don't know."

Daniel pursed his lips. She wasn't lying at least, and he stood there, watching her tired dark eyes as they gazed at him, glancing again at the floor in embarrassment.

"Get your things," he decided. No matter how he felt about her, he couldn't just let her continue like this and loving her made it that much more of a personal imperative to take care of her. After all, she dropped everything, without hesitation for him and she always had; it was the least he could do.

"It's nine in the morning…"

"And you can't tell me when you last slept," he argued right back, "there's nothing pressing…"

"Daniel, Anubis, but - "

He clamped his hand over her mouth.

"No, stop, now."

"You're not my keeper," she protested, moving his hand away.

"No, but you're mine, and I can't afford to not have you at 100%."

She looked down to the floor again. He knew she was gonna give in, he knew everything, he just didn't know what to say to her yet. I love you is what he wanted to say, I love you and I can't watch you torture yourself anymore.

"My duffel's back in my quarters," she said quietly.

"Get it," he ordered gently, "and then meet me in the parking lot. We'll go back to my house and just hang out, ok?"

"Ok," Adrienne was quiet leaving the lab without a further word.

Daniel's heart raced as he watched her go. She's going to spend the day, two days, three days alone in his apartment? They done this before but it was different now, different because Daniel knew that he was in love with her and he knew based on her actions that she was probably in love with him.  She'd been so quiet since the day that they repeated over and over. They'd had fun after, watching movies like everything was normal, none of the tension he had felt since she told him her secret, but she'd been so quiet. There had been a point though, when they were watching the Lord of the Rings that she started to snuggle near to him as if it was normal, making him wonder what happened during those repeated days, before racing back to the other side of her bed.  He'd slept in her room that night too, waking up with her arm wrapped around his waist tightly, a fact that he never told her.

She got her things but didn't go to the parking lot, returning to the lab instead, the dark circles under her eyes standing out more the fluorescent light of the hallway. Daniel shook his head, worried sick, reaching out for the bag to take it.

"We don't have to go…" she protested again.

"I want you to sleep," he countered.

"Why are you so worried?"

Because I love you Adrienne. 

"I'm allowed to worry," he said instead.

"I guess so," and she was quiet again.

The drive to his apartment was quiet, Adrienne again not saying a word. He didn't understand why she was embarrassed by this, hurt yet, scarred, he knew from personal experience, but it wasn't as if she had gone out of her way to have this happen to her. He just wanted to fix it but he couldn't and that hurt him as much as the look on her face. When they arrived at the door she was at the elevator before he could even get her stuff out of the jeep, in silence, charging into this apartment once he slipped the key into the lock, heading straight for sofa.

"Go get the bed," he ordered, sternly, pointing.

"I'm fine here really."

"I know you won't sleep here as well as in my bed," he said it in such as way that he hoped she would tease, he wanted her to tease, please make an Adrienne joke but she didn't, dragging herself to the bedroom.

"I've got to get you better again," he mumbled as he let her go. His heart was in his throat; he wanted so badly to go back there, kiss her, hold her, take her in his arms and nuzzle close and tell her that everything would be fine…

"Stop," he spat out, heading for his small dining room table, "just get to work and let her rest."

*****

She screamed out at noon.

It terrified Daniel and for a moment he sat in the chair unsure as to what he should do. It was the break in, her mind was creating a scenario where she was being attacked again. He felt guilt suddenly at his hesitation and he was dashing into his bedroom, his best friend sitting up in the bed crying, his t-shirt large on her.

"I'm sorry Daniel," she stammered wiping away tears, "I swear this doesn't happen, I've come to peace with it it's just that," she cried more, Daniel crawling in the bed right beside her.

"Don't beat yourself up," he whispered, "you're allowed to feel this way."

"It's just being here in DC, I don't know, I just don't feel safe with everything and…"

"I know," Daniel said, "on the verge of telling her what had happened to him, but refrained. It would make her worry about him and while that would make her forget her own concerns it wouldn't be what she needed.

"I guess sometimes I just don't feel safe."

"Do you feel safe now?" he asked, reaching out his hand.

Adrienne nodded.

"Then lay down, get some sleep," he said, squeezing hers lightly.

"But I'm not sick, I have no reason to be in here, be here at all, we've got work to do," she protested but Daniel just shook his head.

Hold her, kiss her, this was a bad idea…

"You can't even keep your head up Ad, your eyes are puffy, rest, for me?"

Because I love you and I am so worried. 

She sniffed in, allergies maybe, laying back down. His mind already back on where he left of, Daniel started to leave her when he felt a hand at his wrist, turning to see Adrienne was preventing him from leaving.

"Will you stay?"

"In here?"

She nodded again.

"Ok, if it'll get you to sleep…" he agreed, sitting down again. Taking a deep breath, Adrienne laid down, curling onto her side, shaking.

He couldn't take it, he didn't care, so what if he couldn't tell her how he felt, so what if he could never say a word lest she be taken away from him, he could love her and care for her right now. Kicking off his shoes he crawled in beside her, scooting under the covers and taking her into his arms.

"Daniel, what are you doing?"

"Making you feel safe," he whispered, he was crossing a line, he knew it, but she was starting to calm, "at least I hope I am."

"You are."

He'd hoped she'd turn around and cuddle into him, but she didn't, yet she lay there in his arms, letting him hold her.

"Go to sleep, nothing's gonna get in here, I promise," he whispered in her ear, kissing it and freezing.

Shit, he kissed her…

But she didn't say a word, her hand on his as he listened to her breathing slow, Adrienne falling dead asleep.

*****

When Daniel awoke he wasn't quite sure what was going on, the haze of sleep