Whatta Man

"Whatta Man"

Subtitle: The Insanity that pops in my head while driving...

Background for those not caught up yet in Crystalline Blue Waters: 

At the time of this insanity all parties involved live on Atlantis. It's a Friday evening of karaoke and silly in the commissary that they do every now and then to boost morale since they are not being attacked like the first expedition. 

Addy and Daniel are married, two kiddos. 

Ronon and Vala are married, one adopted kiddo and they mock Daniel & Addy (or at least Vala does for being "sappy gross". Vala also lives to make Ronon flush)

Sam and Jack are married, and Jack, retired, takes care of Jackson kiddos, a job he volunteered for :) 

Ronon, Jack, Daniel, John are sitting in the back of the commissary area, having a drink. The women are no where to be found.

Enjoy!

(Hit play on this in another window to listen while you read along: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-WFNbMohTQ or Whatta Man Official Video 1994)

*Music plays* 

*Ronon coughs on drink, looks over at Daniel, who is, as always, clueless*

R: Hey

D: Yeah?

R: The girls are about to embarrass us. 

D: With?

R: I heard Val, singing. 

D:Vala sings?

R: No, but she does stupid shit with Addy, who sings.

D: *finally recognizes song* Oh dear lord...

Jack: *sits back at John chuckles into a beer* This is gonna be good...

Yeah, yeah (Oooo)
Uh, hey hey
All right, yeah
Oooo

[CHORUS]
What a man, what a man, what a man
What a mighty good man
What a man, what a man, what a man
What a mighty good man

(Daniel: This is not gonna be good)

What a man, what a man, what a man
What a mighty good man
What a man, what a man, what a man
What a mighty good man

(Addy out first, points out at Daniel)

R: Smile commander

*laughs*

(Addy to Daniel as Vala dances)

I wanna take a minute or two, and give much respect due
To the man that's made a difference in my world
And although most men are ho's he flows on the down low
Cuz I never heard about him with another girl
But I don't sweat it because it's just pathetic
To let it get me involved in that he said/she said crowd
I know that ain't nobody perfect, I give props to those who deserve it
And believe me y'all, he's worth it
So here's to the future cuz we got through the past
I finally found somebody that can make me laugh
(Ha ha ha) You so crazy
I think I wanna have your baby

Daniel: We already have two!!!

Adrienne: *Laughs as she continues to sing*

[CHORUS]

(Vala pushes Addy aside, directing attention to Ronon)

Daniel to Ronon: Your turn...

My man is smooth like Barry, and his voice got bass
A body like Arnold with a Denzel face
He's smart like a doctor with a real good rep
And when he comes home he's relaxed with Pep
He always got a gift for me everytime I see him
A lot of snot-nosed ex-flames couldn't be him
He never ran a corny line once to me yet
So I give him stuff that he'll never forget

Ronon swallows strongly

He keeps me on Cloud Nine just like the Temps
He's not a fake wannabe tryin' to be a pimp
He dresses like a dapper don, but even in jeans
He's a God-sent original, the man of my dreams

Addy steps forward, winking at Daniel.

Yes, my man says he loves me, never says he loves me not
Tryin' to rush me good and touch me in the right spot

Daniel's jaw drops

Jack: I was right, this is great...

See other guys that I've had, they tried to play all that mac shit
But every time they tried I said, "That's not it"

Vala steps forward

But not this man, he's got the right potion
Baby, rub it down and make it smooth like lotion
Yeah, the ritual, highway to heaven
From seven to seven he's got me open like Seven Eleven
And yes, it's me that he's always choosin'
With him I'm never losin', and he knows that my name is not Susan
He always has heavy conversation for the mind
Which means a lot to me cuz good men are hard to find

Girls step together to sing...

[CHORUS]

About mid-way through chorus, Sam comes strutting out 

Daniel: Nope, NOW it gets great...

My man gives real loving that's why I call him Killer
He's not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, he's a thriller
He takes his time and does everything right
Knocks me out with one shot for the rest of the night
He's a real smooth brother, never in a rush
And he gives me goose pimples with every single touch
Spends quality time with his kids when he can

Daniel: MY kids when he can, MINE...

Secure in his manhood cuz he's a real man
A lover and a fighter and he'll knock a knucker out
Don't take him for a sucker cuz that's not what he's about
Every time I need him, he always got my back
Never disrespectful cuz his mama taught him that

[CHORUS]

Girls finish song, the three husbands all getting looked at while crowd in commissary hoots in hollers. 

John Sheppard: Yep, that was pretty great. See why I'm single. 

Daniel frowns

John: Annnd I'm on night shift, catch you guys later...